Jeffrey AronsonThe Guardian once published a “10-point guide to the perfect disaster movie.” Step 1 was selecting the right disaster. Most of the best disasters – asteroids, aliens, conflagrations, earthquakes, and tsunamis – had been taken, but what about the biblical prophecies of the earth opening up and swallowing all inhabitants?
“Perfect,” said the Weather Gods, and they used February’s Maine Winter Romp as a test. While ice floes filled streams, the 160 Land Rovers present churned through the thin snow cover and melted the ice beneath, revealing vast mud pits that swallowed many unwary drivers. In past years, these conditions arose only on the most difficult trails, such as the infamous Pit of Despair – but not this year.
At one long approach to a hillside, I watched as many Land Rovers sank to their frames trying to find the right line. I cast a seasoned eye, jumped back into my ’97 Discovery I, and set its 4.0L engine to work. Within 20 feet, the front end sank into the mud hole with a gigantic thump, but old “Gilroy” jumped right out – just like Bo and Luke did in the General Lee on The Dukes of Hazzard. My pride vanished as I surveyed the damage to the front brush guard. Fortunately, a couple of gentle tugs with a winch straightened it out – this first time.
Not satisfied with bending the guard once, I gave myself another opportunity at the end of the day. By that time, the exodus of chained Land Rovers tearing up the earth had exposed the underground bogs that acted like quicksand in a Grade B disaster movie. Approaching the base of the now-saturated hillside, I watched Land Rover after Land Rover unsuccessfully search for the right line. I dreamed that I would find the perfect line, skitter balletically through the mud holes to “oohs” and “ahhs” of awestruck spectators.
Not really. I gave the right amount of welly at the wrong time, causing the front end to slide slightly to the right and bury it in the maw of another mud hole. It would not move forward or backward – time for recovery. I stepped into the mud, leaned over, and tried to attach a soft shackle to my recovery ring with no success. I ended up having to fall to my knees and dig through the mud to attach the shackle by feel. Cold, wet, and filthy, I got back into the car as a Land Rover on stable ground yanked me out. Only after the exit did I notice the irreparable forward tilt to the front brush guard.
Doug Crowther, Concord, VA, had accumulated decades of experience and know-how in his previous Perenties, and added to it recently in his ‘94 Defender 90 diesel. He approached the chasm of mud with caution, chose a line, accelerated smartly, and then sat glumly as the front end descended into the muck. Not long afterward, James Bullock, Alexandria, VA, determined to avoid Doug’s fate, chose a different line that still buried his ’07 LR3. It took a combination of recovery straps, a snatch block, and a strong winch to extract his vehicle.
Ryan Swett, Portland, ME, always a happy-go-lucky guy, locked a front wheel against a hidden outcropping and tore apart the steering rack on his ’05 LR3. Both wheels splayed out in separate directions, one facing east and one facing west. The Maine Winter Romp has a “No Land Rover Left Behind” policy, which set Maine enthusiasts Chip Perkins and Amory Baker to work assisting with the field repair. They descended on organizer Bruce Fowler’s nearby home and raided his LR3 parts car for its steering rack. They labored to jack up the front of the LR3 on sloping ground, then crawled underneath to dismantle the front end to replace the destroyed rack. By the end of the day, the trio had repaired the LR3 and Ryan drove it back to the host motel.
21-year-old enthusiast Nick Ciancio, Ocean Township, NJ, had his Land Rover passion nurtured by his father, Greg, who had owned a Series Land Rover, a Range Rover P38A, and a Discovery II. Nick’s girlfriend, Haley Berg, a student at the University of Rhode Island, has accompanied him on many adventures.
For this Romp, Nick and Haley traveled in his 2000 Discovery. After days of off-roading, the Discovery II ran very well – until it didn’t. While driving from the trails, the Discovery would barely get out of its own way, bogging down incessantly as Nick tried to keep up speed.
Quite unnerved, Nick arrived at the Sunday night dinner seeking advice and assistance. Ralf Sarek and Bruce Fowler offered some diagnostic tips to check spark, fuel, and coolant levels. While they all checked it out, the Discovery would only limp along. Bruce offered to have the Discovery towed to his house while Nick and Haley made arrangements to get home.
The culprit turned out to be a stuck-open injector in cylinder #4. When Nick installed a replacement injector in that cylinder, the Discovery’s engine hummed like new – and Nick admitted he screeched and hollered in his garage. “I will now add a known-good injector into my spare parts box for future event travel,” he said.
Not everyone’s event experience involved hard luck. Rovers North’s Zack Griswold and Mark Letorney displayed consummate skill and avoided entrapment by the mud. Terry Jackson’s Stage I and Ned Crystal’s L663 Defender 110 appeared to skate right along. Daryl Beasley and Regina Recifo, Virginia and Maryland, respectively, enjoyed the weekend in Daryl’s Defender 90. Dave Bobeck and Julie Garner brought Dave’s trail-oriented ’60 109” north from Washington and – again – it acquitted itself quite well. Chris Viola, Farmingdale, NY, and his L316 ’83 Defender 130 not only looked great but performed terrifically, too. Doug Foster, Mt Desert, ME, kept warm and dry in his ’06 Range Rover Sport, “The Beater with a Heater.” Richard and Debbie Chase, Gray, ME, cruised along in their ‘88 Range Rover Classic, complete with plow hitch, which gamely tackled every trail with aplomb as it’s done for years.
Kateryna Bagrii, Ellsworth, ME, attended her first Maine Winter Romp last year but searched for a Land Rover ride this year. When her plight went out on social media, the response was swift and positive. Among the many who offered a seat, Ron Peppard, Waltham, MA, also gave Kateryna her drive in his modified Defender (Discovery I 4.0L automatic transmission, and 24-spline axles). It proved the perfect beast for her maiden drives on trails such as the Pit of Despair, Kick-Ass and Defibrillator.
“My ride last year was like a first kiss,” she said. “You always remember it. I will always remember the feeling I had when I first took the steering wheel in my hands when the ‘Rover/Kateryna beast’ first touched the accelerator. Driving Ron’s Defender gave me a few minutes of having power and feeling free. His Defender has a heart and a soul. I dared to become one with it, and the feedback was more than overwhelming. I came to Romp to smell the Rover spirit and ended up ingesting, inhaling, and saturating myself with it. Talk about an addiction!”
The Rover Gods smiled down on Michael Collins, New Hampton, NH, when his raffle ticket number came up at the Maine Winter Romp. He won a refurbished 2001 Discovery II, which joins his ’60 Series II, a ’96 Defender 130, and a new L663 Defender 110 just purchased for his wife, Stephanie.
“I was shocked to win,” said Michael. “I had brought our Defender 130 to the Winter Romp, so Stephanie drove the Discovery II home without any problems. Our son, Dylan, who will begin his sophomore year at UNH next September, will now have a Land Rover of his own. He took it for a test drive, and I hope it makes a Land Rover enthusiast out of him. We’re looking forward to off-roading together.”
Bruce Fowler said the Discovery came to him through George Miniotis, Midland Park, NJ. Once purchased, “The Buxton [ME] Boys” – Chip Perkins, Amory Baker, Ryan Swett, Mark Libby, Jeremy Libby, and Lars Sjulander – installed the parts donated by Rovers North, Atlantic British, Lucky 8, and enthusiasts Rob Wollschlager, CT; Chris Browne, MA; and Doug Foster, ME. This collective effort kitted out the Discovery nicely and enabled Stephanie Collins to drive it home to New Hampshire.
Michael, the owner of an equipment rental company in Meredith, NH, should watch his back. The runner-up, Joe McDonough, Lowell, MA, serves as a funeral director. Michael, be careful, be very careful…